El Dio De Los Muertos
by autumnrose2010
Summary: Illya becomes entangled in suspicious goings-on south of the border. Originally posted for picfic Tuesday on livejournal.


Maria de Jesus had been one of THRUSH's most formidable threats. From her secret lab deep in the heart of rural Mexico, she'd conducted all manner of unethical and, some said, even bizarre experiments. She'd met her end when her lab had finally been discovered and raided by a band of UNCLE agents, one of whom had put a bullet through her heart.

Yet, it was rumored that THRUSH had stolen her body and spirited it out of Mexico, then used a secret formula to reanimate it so that she could continue her nefarious work. It was only a rumor, Illya knew, but it still sent chills down his spine.

Now he'd been assigned to come to yet another lab in rural Mexico, this one run by a newly employed UNCLE agent, Consuelo La Viva, who was attempting to develop a formula for a food substitute, a highly nutritious energy supplement of compact size that could be utilized by UNCLE agents who ended up either imprisoned or stranded in inhospitable environments for long periods of time. It was hoped that Illya's sophisticated knowledge of organic chemical compounds would prove advantageous to Consuelo's research.

As he neared the pristine white building which he knew contained Consuelo's lab, Illya was approached by an obviously inebriated local who stumbled past him. Illya almost retched from the stench of tequila mixed with that of unwashed bodily filth.

Suddenly the man turned lucid eyes toward Illya and stared straight into the Russian's blue ones as he spoke a few words in English. "You must beware of black haired girls, Senor! Else, one will cause your death." The man then turned away from Illya, muttered a few words in Spanish, and then ambled on.

Illya shuddered as he struggled to put the incident out of his mind, soon arriving at the entrance to Consuelo's lab.

"Senor Kuryakin! It is a pleasure to meet you!" She pronounced his name 'Kurya-keen.' Her teeth looked very white against her tanned skin, and she had hair that was as dark as coal with eyes to match. Illya guessed that she must have at least some Aztec ancestry.

"It is nice to meet you as well, _senorita. _Please call me Illya." He smiled and shook her hand, which to him felt unnaturally cool to the touch. Perhaps she'd recently worked with specimens that had been refrigerated, Illya surmised as she led him back to the portion of the lab that was for his use.

Soon Illya was busy adding chemicals to test tubes and heating them over a Bunsen burner, recording his results in his journal. He became so absorbed in his work that he almost didn't even notice his stomach rumbling several hours later.

Suddenly he turned to see Consuelo smiling brilliantly at him and holding a large brown bag. "Time for a break, _si?"_

"I hope that you have something delicious in that bag." Illya grinned. "I am famished."

"Of course I intend to feed my new lab assistant well," Consuelo replied.

She led him to a picnic area behind the lab, and on a table beneath a large shade tree, she began to set out all manner of delicious food.

"This is indeed a meal fit for a king!" Illya exclaimed jubilantly.

"I hope that everything is to your liking," Consuelo told him.

While Illya ate voraciously, he couldn't help but notice that Consuelo merely picked at the food. After he'd finished, he was surprised to find that he was unnaturally sleepy, as if he'd somehow been administered a sedative.

"If you would like to take a _siesta, _Illya, that is fine," Consuelo told him. "It is the custom in my country. There is a small room with a cot adjacent to the lab if you would like to use that."

Illya thanked her and went to the room containing the cot. However, he was by now suspicious and, rather than lying down on the cot right away, he first swallowed a couple of caffeine pills and then lay down and feigned sleep.

Soon he became aware of muted voices coming from the other side of the door. Soundlessly, he arose from the cot and crept close enough to hear.

"I have finally perfected the formula," said Consuelo La Viva's voice. "Today they shall arise."

"And what of the UNCLE agent?" asked a male voice.

Consuelo laughed. "There is nothing to worry about. I put enough tranquilizers in his food to make him sleep for a week."

"Very good, Senora de Jesus," a different male voice complimented her.

Illya felt the hair stand up on his head. Consuelo La Viva was really Maria de Jesus! She'd somehow faked her way into the UNCLE organization as a double agent, seeking to use Illya's superior scientific skills to her own advantage.

Yet, what could he do? He was a man alone in a strange country. Napoleon was far away in New York. The only course of action he could see open to him was to return to the United States to gather reinforcements to destroy the lab and return Maria de Jesus to the netherworld, but by the time he could do all that, it might well be too late...

Meanwhile, in the small cemetery behind the church on the hill right behind the laboratory, long-dead joints and tendons stretched and creaked, and skeletal fingers pushed aside coffin lids, making their way through dirt toward blackened headstones...


End file.
